Well here goes nothing…
While driving around, after buying a bag of drugs, thinking to myself: ”Am I always going to be doing the same thing over and over again? Or can I rather be with my family and those I care about?” If I could just stop using drugs and be a clean, straight family woman… That’s when I started praying to God. “Lord, if I’m good enough for YOU and those I care deeply about, help me come clean and show me how to do that in, any way that you can.” Yet I still went straight home and used the drugs all alone and ended up feeling so very unhappy.
At that time I started to want to read the Bible again and was less interested in using the stuff but still got the cravings. I could feel that somehow God was speaking to me – as I was reading a verse. Every day God taught me right from wrong, also how to listen to people and not to interrupt them. To listen and be still you learn so much more. I was still taking the drugs but less and less at a time. God also taught me about fearing the Lord.
Sometime after when I refused to listen to God, I was a victim of a Hijacking. I was fighting with my family for money late at night on a very stormy night. I then got the money, left the house at 01:00, not knowing it was so late. I drove to a friend’s house, who wasn’t home. In that time the lightning and rain was so bad, that the car was half way under water and the lightning hit the ground right in front of me, at least three times. It scared me, it was really frightening. Then I said “forget that stuff I must go home”. With this I saw that it was passed 02:00am and thought “Damn, I didn’t think it was so late! What am I doing? I’m so stupid.”
So I dashed off home, praying to God that I make it there in the rain. Then, just as I passed the school three guys in a van drove passed me, going fast, with music blearing. Suddenly I heard brakes and saw them rush passed me again. They stopped dead in front of me. I panicked and reversed just a little. One of them came running from the back, hit on the window next to me. I picked up the wheel spanner and started to swear at him and try hit him. That gave me enough time to get away. I saw them chasing after me. That is when I prayed to God: “Please get me home safely and take over the wheel and get me home!” I drove like I’ve never, ever driven before and got home safely. They parked in front of me, then just drove off. I got into the house, all shaken up. For a few days after, I was too scared, I didn’t even want to drive anywhere.
I started to go to church again and read the 596 day Bible that I had at home. The strangest things started to happen to me. My mom would come to church with me all the time. In those times I thought God says come as you are, so I thought even if I have drugs in me it doesn’t make God hate me. So I kept doing the drugs and going to church.
During one of the church services, I was heartbroken because a guy friend of mine was sent to rehab and I missed him. At the end of the service I asked for the wooden Care cross that they used to hand out in church, sending it home with the family for all to pray for them. I asked that the congregation pray for me and him. We were both struggling with our drug addiction. I took it home for a week and placed it on the table in front of the Television where all could see.
Many weeks passed that I was using a lot less drugs, but so many strange things where still happening. I was being thought how to pray, how to speak without swearing and, most of all, what is unclean and clean and who to hang around with and who not to.
Three months passed, things where better in the family and I was using less. I then asked my mom if I could maybe go away on a holiday somewhere as I felt the need to get away and to try and do this on my own, with God’s help. I was afraid that she would send me to rehab. I haven’t been out of this town for so long and I needed a break from it all. I was also attending church every Sunday, with my mom, but was feeling so weird because everything the pastor said I already knew ahead of time and it felt like I heard it all before. It was an upsetting and emotional time for me.
Not long after, my friend returned from rehab, only having done three months, but it was okay. He came to me one morning, asking me about another friend of ours, but I told him I that I won’t talk about my friends when they are not present. At that time he said he had never been baptized. After that I was taught how to pray the Lord’s Prayer and to recite Psalm 23 every morning and every night, to keep me from being tempted to use again. I almost had it right, not asking for more, but every time he came over he would want to use, so I would prayed again. Then God started to slowly show me what that stuff does to your body, from the inside. He also pointed out the number 77 to me which is the number of completion in the Bible. The three 777s is for gambling with your life. The four 7777s I found on an ambulance. This is where my story gets interesting.
My friend came back the next morning to visit. We chilled by the pool he, bought two bags of crystal meth, we used it. He was saying to me that I must meet him in the middle, and that I will be with him on the mount Sanai. I later found out that was where the Ten Commandments where given to Israel by God. While we were sitting under the Lapa, he also said that there is a manmade disease, that was made in a lab in China and that it was going to kill many. He then mentioned that the job he always wanted to do, was to be an architect. All this freaked me out, my friend and I ended up having a fight and he walked off down the street. I, stupid enough, took my mom’s car and went looking for him, ending up in a big car accident. I thought that I was dead, but saw some kind of light and then regained consciousness. Thereafter I had the police at my house, told them about the accident, so that they could do a report.
The next day was the one that scared me. I woke up and somehow got mad at my mom. My friend came over and told me: “MY CHILD, YOU ARE AWAKE NOW AND I AM AWAY”. Not long after that my dad was there with my mom, they were saying that I must go to rehab. They spoke to me in the lounge and told me to calm down, saying that I was a very tuff person, I wanted what I wanted and that nothing was going to stop me. I didn’t want to leave, as I was scared of things I didn’t know and of change, so I got angry. My dad left and later I was locked up for breaking a window. Once in the van, God said this to me: “THIS WILL BE MADE HISTORY” and I was okay with it. I then calmed down and in one at the cells found a Bible. I was told to read the whole of Proverbs so that is what I did. I went aside and read Proverbs, which took the whole day. I was in jail from the Saturday to the Monday, when we had to appear in court. On the Sunday night all the black ladies asked me to tell them who my God is, because they saw my respect for Him while I was reading. I told them about God, then they said we should pray to God, for we needed Him. So that night we all came together and prayed.
The next morning was hard for me for I was so tired. But I knew that it was from GOD, because I’m a stubborn person, He had to teach me the hard way. It was really hard in jail, and disgusting too, but it was His way. I even believe that it was God that told me about Covid 19 before rehab so that I was ready for what was coming. I had to agree and sign papers to go to rehab, in order not to go to jail . He made a way for me. I prayed to go somewhere where I could have a roof over my head and food in my tummy, a place to meet new people. I was leaving to go somewhere I didn’t even know, but I prayed to God and said: “Lord, I’m in your hands now, lead me.” and he did.
I must say I met such nice people in rehab and had a great time. I had my head stuck in the Bible most of the time. It was a really good rehab, called Yahweh Rapha, in Vereeniging. With God’s help I got through it all.
After eight months I came home and then my whole family started going to church. I wanted to become a pastor and am now studying to become one.
On Sunday 24th October 2021 I was confirmed along with my brother David in the Rustenburg Methodist Church. With a lot of hard work and help from both Charimain Fourie and David Fidler and always with GOD’s help, I formed my own little fellowship, including all the lovely people in my life.
Through all this time my Mom was always there for me. She trusted in the Lord at all times. She prompted me over and over to come to Him. God is good, he gave me a Mom that never stopped loving me, one who listened to God and followed the lead He gave her, to Contact Ursula Le Roux at “Drugs Straight Talk”. They assisted Mom to get the right Christian rehab to help me. I thank Tracy and Gary and all the others at Yahweh Rapha, for their patience, persistence and love. I have been clean since 8th of September 2020. Thanks be to God.