I could not Bargain with God…

My brother had cancer and I asked God to heal him. In a letter, on 14 December 2019, I promised God that I will be a witness for Him if He healed my brother. I emphasized that it will be an added bonus if he lived and both of us can testify in our Christian community.
When I asked God what His purpose and goal was with my brother’s life, I found the following Scripture in 2 Peter 1:19: “And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.” I then knew without a doubt that it was the Father’s will for Him to leave us. He died early in the morning on 1 February 2020. I will always think back to the Scriptures referring to the bright morning star rising in our hearts. Being told that he had cancer was hard for our family, everyone had suggestions, from cannabis oil to chemo but nothing could save him. God decided it was time for him to leave this life and who are we as humans to question that? Could I predict the future? Could I tell what exactly was going on in my brother’s life? There is no way that I could be angry or turn my back on God just because I did not get what I asked for.
The day we buried him I felt as if I was casting a part of my own heart with the soil into that grave, it was hard. It made me realise that every moment, every breath was borrowed time, Grace and that I had to make it count! God’s love and the daily gift of life out of His hand was what really mattered. Jesus gave His life for us to have life, abundant life. (John 10:10) Hanging on the cross, He thought of each one of us. Only God knows when is the right time for us to leave this life and to enter into eternity with Him.
The lesson I had to learn from this experience was that it is not about me but about the will of the Father for my life. I need to put Him above all else, my life, my spouse, my children, everything!
I want to conclude with a beautiful prayer of Jesus for His Disciples, from John 17: 25-26: “Righteous Father, though the world does not know You, I know You, and they know that You have sent me. I have made You known to them, and will continue to make You known in order that the love You have for me may be in them and that I Myself may be in them.”
My prayer for you who are reading this, is that God’s will may be first, as He commands us, according to Matthew 22: 37 “Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind; and love your neighbour as yourself.”
God Bless you.

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