The Test that became a Testimony

The last few years I kept myself busy with all kinds of bad publicity about SA. I spent my time reading negative newspapers articles, listening to negative news and corrupted my heart with all the bad news, doom and gloom about the future of South Africa. At gatherings with friends and family, around a braai, we spent endless hours talking about the dark future of South Africa.
With fear in my heart, tears in my eyes, I said goodbye to my last friends immigrating in search of a future in a foreign country.
All my time was consumed by reading the prophecies of ‘Siener van Rensburg’. I spent more and more time reading, researching and trying to “Google” the future of South Africa. I ended up with a terrifying fear of the “Uhuru”, the night of the long knives. I started to prepare for the worst. Fear gripped my life.
Although I am a born again Christian, I took my eyes off Jesus and started to look at the storms and thunder around me. I really felt threatened because of all the negative perceptions I had.
In January 2014 the devil used this open door of fear but God had a different plan.
Let me share with you my side of the story regarding an incident that happened to me. I realise that this may upset some readers because my testimony starts with a racial incident. I do however request that you do not make any assumptions or judgements but rather read to the end and see how God can take a very negative situation and turn it into something special. I share this testimony because I believe that many South Africans find themselves in a similar position – being caught up in, among others, historic racial perceptions and related preconceived ideas. Allow me to explain how, by the grace of God alone, my test became my testimony.
One day at the gym, I was running around the indoor track with several other members. A black gentleman ran in the opposite direction, disturbing all the other runners. I left the track and reported the gentlemen to the front desk. Although the lady on duty said that she had noticed it, she did nothing about it. I went back to the athletics track to continue my training. On the strait of the track I once again came face to face with the gentleman. I signaled him that he was running in the wrong direction. He stopped and said to me: ”don’t tell me what to do, white trash”.
On the other side of the track, we met again. He ran up to me and told me that I am white trash. I left the track and went to the front desk again. He followed me and started an argument. We ended up hurling curses at each other. Eventually I left the gym closing my ears with my hands to block him out. He followed me outside. By that time I have had enough. I shouted at him “leave me alone …….”, calling him derogative names which I will not repeat here.
I was shocked at his response. He started jumping up and down in joy. He immediately called a bystander to ask her to serve as a witness. Then he said to me “I have the money and the power, I am going to nail your white butt”. I was shocked and left. At home I fell to my knees crying out to God “what had just happened?”
The next day I went to gym and reported the incident. The gym manager took a written statement from me. He said that the gentlemen also reported me and that he was very upset. I asked the gym for CCTV footage to prove my case. The gym’s CCTV was out of order.
A few weeks later the “Racial incident at a gym” appeared in the newspapers. The incident was even discussed on a talk show and broadcasted over the radio. I was petrified.
The following week I received an email from the head office of the gym to notify me that my 10 year membership had been cancelled due to this incident. I went to the head office of the gym to explain to them what had happened. Their response was: ”Sorry but we have to cancel your membership; nothing could be done to help you because you were not screaming the loudest, the other party was making more noise.” (Later on I understood that they were concerned about the negative publicity that this incident attracted)
I felt very lonely – nobody wanted to assist me; nobody was willing to get involved.
I turned to God. I prayed, crying out for help. I pleaded with Him, repenting, saying that I was truly sorry for what I had done. I acknowledged that I did not handle the situation the way that Jesus would have done. I asked God to help me; He is the only one who knew what truly happened in the gym that morning. Apart from God and my mother I had nobody else to talk to about my predicament.
Who do I tell this too? Who will listen? Who will help me? These questions were mulling in my head.
It was a very lonely time in my life. I only had God to talk to and my mother praying for me. Over the next few months God started responding to me through His Word. I received specific Scripture and God guided me by means of these Bible passages.
This is God’s teaching and the Word I received at that time:
Ephesians 4:29 -29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
How could I use the same mouth to worship God and at the same time use it as a sword to destroy? This was such an important lesson for me! How could I say that I love Jesus but do not love my neighbour?
Isaiah 30: 19-23 – 19 People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. 20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” 22 Then you will desecrate your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!” 23 He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows.
God clearly showed me that I had misleading and unsubstantiated idols in my life – I spent too much time with Siener van Rensburg prophecies, negative newspapers and political propaganda. These things were driving my behaviour. I needed to clean my head. However, with this Scripture I also got confirmation that God had heard my cry.
Then it happened – the next test. In June I received a call from the police informing me of a case of crimen injuria against me. (Crimen injuria is a crime under South African common law, defined to be the act of “unlawfully, intentionally and seriously impairing the dignity of another”). I mean to say, in Isaiah 30 the Lord showed me the false idols in my own life and ever since I deliberately worked hard to get rid of those. So why now this charge Lord? Furthermore the Lord said that He heard my cries. So why now this charge Lord? Why why why?
At the police station the inspector informed me that the charge of crimen injuria was a serious matter and he recommended that I get a very good lawyer. I was petrified.
I pleaded with God to help me. Day and night I prayed, endlessly.
The Holy Spirit laid it on my heart that I had to forgive my “enemy”, pray for him and bless him. This was a tough call but soon my pleading with God to help me changed to prayers for this guy who I had the racial encounter with. I asked God to bless him and the more I prayed I started developing a sincere love for him. This could only be ascribed to my obedience and God’s grace.
I got hold of his number and phoned him to arrange a meeting to apologize to him. I had to tell him that I forgive him unconditionally. He was very upset with me phoning him and said that he will see me in court. He was not interested at all to talk to me. One morning I got up at 5am and went to the gym to talk to him, to apologize. He ignored me and shut me out. He did not want to listen to me. How many times should one apologize and forgive?
I knew that God saw my heart and my sincere intentions of forgiveness but still I did not stop praying for my “enemy”. I asked God to bless him with a heart of forgiveness too.
One night I had a dream: I was standing on a beach with my two boys when I saw a massive tsunami wave coming at us. I could touch it. We had no place to hide and would not be able to run away from it. The tsunami wave was 100m high. I told my boys to close their eyes and that I would tell them when to hold their breath because we were going under water. The next moment the wave was gone. I knew this dream was from God. The dream stayed with me for some time.
At that time I was at the point where I had to search for a good lawyer. I did not know where to go. But to God. I prayed to Him and received the following Scripture.
Isaiah 50: 7-9 – Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near. Who then will bring charges against me? Let us face each other! Who is my accuser? Let him confront me! It is the Sovereign LORD who helps me. Who is he that will condemn me? They will all wear out like a garment; the moths will eat them up.
God just laid on my heart that I should not get a lawyer but that He will be my lawyer. I had to believe that God will help me. I prayed to God that His will should be done in this.
Another night I had a similar dream again:
I was standing on the beach. A massive 100m tsunami wave was upon me. This time I was alone. I ran into the city for shelter, an old city that looks like Jerusalem. I hid with my back against a wall. The tsunami wave broke over me. I was scared of the mass of water that had to flow back into the sea. I waited but nothing happened. The water disappeared.
I prayed to God saying that if this dream was from Him and I was required to pay attention then I needed confirmation by having this dream one more time. The dream was on my mind day and night. Then the Lord gave me the following scripture:
Psalm 37 1 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil. 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. 10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace. 12 The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; 13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming. 14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose ways are upright. 15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken. 16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; 17 for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the LORD upholds the righteous. 18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever. 19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. 20 But the wicked will perish: The LORD’s enemies will be like the beauty of the fields, they will vanish, vanish like smoke. 21 The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously; 22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land, but those he curses will be cut off. 23 If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; 24 though he stumbles, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. 25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. 26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed. 27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. 28 For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off; 29 the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever. 30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just. 31 The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip. 32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, seeking their very lives; 33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power or let them be condemned when brought to trial. 34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it. 35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man flourishing like a green tree in its native soil, 36 but he soon passed away and was no more; though I looked for him, he could not be found. 37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace. 38 But all sinners will be destroyed; the future of the wicked will be cut off. 39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 40 The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.
I knew that God was with me. That next day, a Sunday morning, end of July, I had a repeat of a similar dream – for me this was confirmation enough. This time I looked down at the world and saw the African continent with a massive tsunami wave from the Atlantic Ocean covering it.
In September I received a call from the investigating officer. I had to go collect my summons and the court date. I could not stop shaking. The inspector that investigated the case said to me that he tried to reason with the gentlemen but that he reported him for interfering with the investigation. The next day at the police station they explained to me what process would be followed and took my finger prints and photos. I felt like a real criminal. My court date was the 1st of October.
I could not sleep. It was 6 weeks until the court date. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I read through the Scriptures that God gave me, over and over. In Jesus’ Name, I declared victory over this case.
It was the six longest weeks of my life. If I was found guilty I could face a 12 month jail sentence or a fine of R500 000. My mind told me that I was facing a man with money and power – a black man with an agenda of showing a white person what power he had.
One evening my husband, very worried and caring, suggested that I should rather consider getting a lawyer. I told him that I do have a lawyer, His name is Jesus Christ.
1st October 2014, the court date, arrived soon. That morning God gave me the following Scripture.
2 Corinthians 10: 3-53 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Mark 13:11 11 Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.
I had to be in court at 8am. Outside the court room a police officer enquired about my attendance. I showed him my summons. He asked me where my lawyer was. I told him that I don’t have one. He was shocked. He said that he could arrange a lawyer for me. I declined. He walked off shaking his head.
We entered the court room and the proceedings started. The court was packed with people waiting to hear their fate. Each of the accused was called forward with their lawyers; every case being presented to the judge. The judge would decide if the specific case would proceed on the day or be postponed.
At 12:30 I was still waiting for my case to be called forward. I sat shaking and praying. I knew in my heart that God was in control. Suddenly the judge announced that court was adjourned. When I looked up I noticed that there were only one other man and myself left in the accused’s bench. I did not know what was going on. Everybody left the court room. A police officer approached me and asked to see my summons. Although I was at the right court room on the right day I was never called forward. He told me to go to the prosecutor’s office.
The prosecutor wanted to know if my name was on the court roll. I did not know what he was referring to. He checked and saw my name 4th from the top. I was supposed to be called 4th. Next to all the names on the list was a tick. They have all been called during the day. Next to my name it said “DOC”. I asked the prosecutor what that meant. He said “Mevrou gaan huistoe” (Mam, go home). I was very confused. I asked him again what that means. He said “your docket never reached the court and therefore the case had been scratched from the roll”. I left the court building not knowing whether I should cry, laugh, scream or faint. The first three happened all at once. For almost half an hour I sat in the court’s parking lot, I could not move, I could not stop thanking the Lord.
What did I learn from this?
1. The tongue that you use to worship God is the tongue that can kill and destroy people’s lives. Your tongue can be a sword of destruction. Ephesians 4:29
2. Be very careful of turning something into an idol. Isaiah 30:19-23
3. God does not love only certain people of South Africa but God loves ALL people.
4. When God gives you a Word, have faith and believe.
God indeed put me through a very difficult TEST. I had to learn the hard way. Today I can share a TESTimony that, in my opinion, can help others who have negative preconceived ideas about people of different cultures and the future of our country, to overcome this mindset. If God can change the heart of someone like myself, who believed in misleading and unsubstantiated idols like false prophesies and racism, He can do it for you too. Only God can take you from “hating your enemy” to a point of “praying for and loving your enemy”. Such drastic change of heart is not humanly possible but by the grace of God it is possible.
Thank you Lord for converting my Test into a Testimony!
Doreen

If and when this Testimony has spoken into your heart, please go to the Commitment page.

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